As strong and influential as our generation has been throughout time, we continue to set the pace, but not in a way many of us expected.? In the past 20 years as the divorce rate for those under 50 has plateaued or gone down (according to a Bowling Green University study); those in the 50+ plus age group has DOUBLED!? But even those who embraced this challenge learned more than they expected to.
The reasons for such dissolution are partly for the fact that as we live longer; staying in an unsatisfying relationship is no longer an option.? Many couples find it hard to rekindle what brought the two together after the children are out of the home.? And the stigma of divorce that we grew up with is no longer a valid reason to stay together.
What we didn?t figure on is the complexity of divorce after decades of marriage; nor the aspect of finding love that lasts the second time around.? According to The Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education divorcees in all age groups seem to have only a 40% success rate in finding that special someone ? ?till death do them part? in a second marriage. ?Plus the accumulation of family, friends, assets, and even health issues presents an uphill battle that most younger marriages don?t have to sift through.
Think of it; at this age we have less time to recover financially from such a split, less time to recoup losses (like a home, personal belongings, assets of all types), a greater chance to experience future health issues alone, and what about the decades of friendships and acquaintances that may lost or need to be restructured.
If you are considering divorce in your Platinum years, don?t rush into it. Get help first.
The cost may be prohibitive! Consider that decades of intertwined finances can be a legal cost that may not be an option for you.? The more you can decide on your own, the less the legal fees can be.? And if you choose to cash out and divvy up investments, IRAs, or selling assets like your home? you both can lose a lot on capital gains taxes.? You may be ?together? financially for the long haul if you need to recoup what you have lost over the past few years.
Consider counseling.? If not for the kids and your own wellbeing, remember breakups after decades is much harder and we are facing a time where no matter how much we hate our ex there are some ties we may never be able to break.? Retirement and Social Security issues may be insurmountable under some circumstances.? Don?t forget about health insurance.? This may be the most difficult part of divorce in our time.? Many insurance companies have strict rules about divorce; this is something you need to check before considering any sudden moves.
There is help out there besides marriage counseling and a divorce attorney.? There are certified divorce financial analysts who can also give you a new perspective.? And there are some who are starting ?gray divorcee? support groups and clubs.? Despite the considerations and limitations, the decision to end the marriage at our age will be more prevalent as more baby boomers come of age.
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